[He notices the expression switch just a split second before she keeps talking, before she says words he doesn't hear, refuses to hear. Words his mind are muffling out, like they're trying to push their way through cotton.
Because he can practically see them on her lips before she even says it.
He died.
Coulson. Died.
The man who'd saved Pepper's life with Obadiah, who'd worked with him even in passing through the Palladium. He wouldn't call him a friend, not like he would Pepper and Rhodey, but if he'd had more time, another meeting with him, then maybe- he would have liked it. Coulson was... he didn't take Tony's shit. And people like that were few and far between. Even rarer were the people Tony trusted, the people who had put their lives on the line to help keep something he cared about safe. Someone safe.
It's like liquid nitrogen dripping down his spine, freezing him solid and making him brittle all at once. The deathly cold realization that Steve- Captain America. The big, ol' American Ideal. Truth, liberty, justice, and all that bullshit.
He must have known.
Coulson died. Dead. Another one- God. Another person he's known. Dead. And there has to be a story behind it. There has to be some reason Steve decided it would be better if Tony was lied to. Was he friends with Coulson, with Phil? Was it his fault?
He can see it being his fault. He pulled another asshole move. Self-centered, got himself into shit. And Coulson died getting him out of it. He could see it. That was the sad part. He could see it so easily.
But he has to speak, doesn't he? He has to look something other than carved out of stone, has to close his eyes in a slow blink, take a breath, and pull himself together. To just look sad and not- ... reasons. There's always reasons.]
Must've... been something. Big. I mean, Obie- [His voice catches on something bitter, but he pushes on, grinning just a little hollowly] -couldn't even scratch him. Bet he took half of them with him.
[spam]
Because he can practically see them on her lips before she even says it.
He died.
Coulson. Died.
The man who'd saved Pepper's life with Obadiah, who'd worked with him even in passing through the Palladium. He wouldn't call him a friend, not like he would Pepper and Rhodey, but if he'd had more time, another meeting with him, then maybe- he would have liked it. Coulson was... he didn't take Tony's shit. And people like that were few and far between. Even rarer were the people Tony trusted, the people who had put their lives on the line to help keep something he cared about safe. Someone safe.
It's like liquid nitrogen dripping down his spine, freezing him solid and making him brittle all at once. The deathly cold realization that Steve- Captain America. The big, ol' American Ideal. Truth, liberty, justice, and all that bullshit.
He must have known.
Coulson died. Dead. Another one- God. Another person he's known. Dead. And there has to be a story behind it. There has to be some reason Steve decided it would be better if Tony was lied to. Was he friends with Coulson, with Phil? Was it his fault?
He can see it being his fault. He pulled another asshole move. Self-centered, got himself into shit. And Coulson died getting him out of it. He could see it. That was the sad part. He could see it so easily.
But he has to speak, doesn't he? He has to look something other than carved out of stone, has to close his eyes in a slow blink, take a breath, and pull himself together. To just look sad and not- ... reasons. There's always reasons.]
Must've... been something. Big. I mean, Obie- [His voice catches on something bitter, but he pushes on, grinning just a little hollowly] -couldn't even scratch him. Bet he took half of them with him.